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Finally! (album release - What if I'm the fool)

Hi there!


So happy to finally share an album I've been working on for a while now. This is definitely the largest collection of songs I've worked on so far. Overall, these past three weeks were challenging. This project was hard to complete and if I had known going in how much work it would take to put together an album, I'm not sure I would have done it. There is some benefit to oblivion I guess lol.



There are 9 songs on the album and they are: "Self-pity", "Ontario", "Flame", "Lately", "Butter and Toast", "Rosipan", "Herbs", "Sacred town", and "What if I'm the Fool". Some of the themes in this album are nature, climate change, localism, girlhood, and the politicization of our media. I think the songs generally turned out quite close to what I wanted them to sound like, though not perfect as I have some instrumental and editing limitations.


As mentioned earlier, before starting this project I did not consider the amount of time and energy it would take to get through making an album. I thought "oh I'll just write an album, easy". In the past I've written a few e.ps (with around 3-5 songs each) but this project had 9 songs, so roughly double or triple the number of songs. This meant that it was going to take 2-3 times more work.


This project wasn't didn't challenge my music-writing skills as much as patience and persistence. It was one of those things where you just had to just keep your head down and keep going because that was the only way through. For sure, editing is an art and a creative process but for me, it is really time-consuming and dry work. Yes, there are moments of creativity where you're trying to figure out what instrumental to add/take-out, or how to arrange the harmony. But there are also grueling parts, especially when mastering (i.e. gain and volume adjustment). With that said, recording and editing are an important part of making your song come to life. This is the time when your song transforms from being something you hear in your head to something you can hear out loud.


Here was the basic timeline for this project. I first wrote "Flame" in the Fall of 2020 (it was meant to be a single). Then I wrote "Rosipan", "Herbs", "Sacred Town", and "What if I'm the Fool" in May. "Butter and Toast" in June, 2021. "Self-pity" was written in August (about 3 weeks ago). "Lately" and "Ontario" were songs I'd started writing and editing two years ago and rediscovered in my old USB. All in all, the writing portion of the songs occurred over the two-month period of May-June with small lyric changes extending into July. I started recording and editing periodically throughout May-July while gradually wrapping up the recording and doing more editing as I approached the end of July. At this point, all songs, except "Self-pity" and "Ontario", were half done. By the start of August, for the first time, I could clearly see the possibility of an album. Certain songs were standing out and my editing skills didn't ruin too many songs. There were 15 songs originally so 6 songs that didn't make the final cut. By the end of August, I started my serious editing phase where I did a minimum of 3 hours a day. By early September, I realized I needed to increase the hours to 6-9 hours of daily editing. And then finally on Sunday, September 12th, it was done.



I finished the album last night and I really do feel like I just came out of a mind-numbing, two-week exam period. To create music it really takes a lot of work and isn't always fun. There is often a labor-intensive, work portion to it (recording/editing). In the past, I thought perhaps I was doing art wrong if I wasn't enjoy the full process because you often hear people say, you have to love the process of creating music, not just the outcome.


Here is what I learned and some song tips for those planning to write an album:


1. If you're new at editing or songwriting in general and can't figure out why your songs don't sound full like Taylor Swift's, this is likely because you don't have the skill and resources to do it. And this is not a bad thing at all! I think it's really important not to beat yourself up when you're learning as you go. It's also completely normal for editing to take time and you'll probably never be perfect at it unless you're literally Max Martin. The process is meant to be hard, that's why it's a feat when you complete a project.

2. It's okay that your songs don't sound like the recording quality and instrumental technicality of professionally recorded/mixed songs. Taylor Swift herself didn't put her together "1989" all alone. She wasn't recording in her bedroom with low-quality gear and access to just two instruments. She had some of the world's best studio equipment, producers, and other resources on top of her extensive experience. She has dozens of musicians who have spent their whole lives, specializing in a niche skill.


3. Editing is both an art and skill. For me, editing is the dreaded "work" portion of the project but it is still nonetheless an art. Editing is kind of like translation. Yes, the main art is created by the author of the book but the translator plays a very important role. Take the example of the book "Capital in the Twenty-First Century" by Thomas Piketty. This book was originally written in French, Piketty's native language. His ideas are the heart of the book, but you need someone who can translate the core ideas into something someone else can understand. Translation also requires you to understand french vs. english linguistics and similarly, editing music requires that you understand the kind of sound or emotion you want to evoke. That's what editing/mastering is like for me, transcribing. It's the technical work of making your music a reality but also somewhat artful.


4. I might have said this earlier this album for me was less of a songwriting feat and more of an editing feat. The only person who knew I was doing this project was my sister but other than that I didn't discuss it with anyone else. Editing is such a slow and quiet activity. I felt like a nomad in my room, sitting for 6 hours straight on my screen. You can lose your humanity in the process of trying to create something human. It's hard to stay motivated when small technical issues keep popping up and you're going through it alone, with little external support. Here are some things that helped me get through it: a) Keep a strict deadline, b) edit regularly in a routine, and c) find a support network (i.e. talk about it with friends and family if you feel comfortable sharing).


And that's a wrap! I hope there is something here for you in this album and if not, then I hope there is a good song discovery coming your way very soon!


Best,


a


(release date: 08/16/2021)






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